2010. A Japanese woman sits down to take photos of her shiba inu dog for her blog. Suddenly, a man leaps out of a time portal. “Sorry, I can’t let you do this. I cannot tell you why.” She asks: “Is it forbidden knowledge from the future?” He sighs: “No, it’s just too fucking stupid to explain.”
joke appreciated but this is subscribing to a theory of time/causality/history/whatever that I disagree with but time travel fiction has helped perpetuate; that all you have to do is change one event (ideally as far back as possible but still in the chain of causality) in the chain that led to a bad event and everything will automatically be on a better timeline and no negative unintended consequences will occur
The second factor that goes into doge is the general principle of internet language these days that the more overwhelmed with emotions you are, the less sensical your sentence structure gets, which I’ve described elsewhere as “stylized verbal incoherence mirroring emotional incoherence” and which leads us to expressions like “feels,” “I can’t even/I’ve lost the ability to can,” and “because reasons.” Contrast this with first-generation internet language, demonstrated by LOLcat or 1337speak, and in general characterized by abbreviations containing numbers and single letters, often in caps (C U L8R), smilies containing noses, and words containing deliberate misspellings. We’ve now moved on: broadly speaking, second-generation internet language plays with grammar instead of spelling. If you’re a doomsayer, the innovative syntax is one more thing to throw up your hands about, but compared to a decade or two ago, the spelling has gotten shockingly conventional.
